1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in.
5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.
10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.
11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".
12. Play with the automatic doors.
13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this crud, anyway?"
15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.
16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."
17. Follow people through the aisles,always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
20. Put M&M's on layaway.
21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.
24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"
26. TP as much of the store as possible.
27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.
29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"
31. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
33. Take bets on the battle described above.
34. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission:Impossible."
38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"
41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
42. Two words: "Marco Polo."
43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle,etc.
44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.
45. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.
46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"
49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax.
51. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
52. Play with the intercom... Make up sales and stuff in nonexistant isles, etc..
53. Play with the Power Wheels cars.
54. Take kids from one cart and put them in another.
55. Steal the remotes to the electronics and turn them up really loud everytime somebody turns it down.
56. Get a nerf football and try not to knock things over.. (it can be hard at times :P)

1. Fill up a shopping cart and as somebody comes into the store, tell them that you filled it up for them.
2. Pick up a can of soup and try to trade it to somebody for something in their cart.
3. Pick up a can of soup and try to trade it to somebody for their car keys.
4. Get somebody to buy you something outrageous like a Cow Tongue.
5. Go up to a lady with 2 melons in their cart and say "Can I feel your melons?", then before they say anything, pick them up and say "MMMMMmmm.. Nice and firm.. just how I like them" and walk away.
6. Tell people that the head of lettuce tried to eat you.
7. Steal somebody's cart while it's full of goodies.
8. See how many people you can fit in a shopping cart.
9. Play chicken in crowded isles.
10. Play chicken in crowded isles after fitting as many people as possible in the cart.
11. Try to think of more funny/stupid stuff to do while there.
12. Insist that you MUST sit in the frozen foods cooler to prevent thawing.
13. Tell everybody that all of the apples in the store have razor blades in them.
14. Walk up to somebody, randomly select something out of their cart and say something like "Hmm.... I recommend NOT buying this" and hand them something different like a pack of maxipads.
15. Walk up to an employee and say "Can you help me find my mommy?"
16. Climb into a freezer and attempt to sleep.
17. Insist that you must try the ice cream before you buy it.. Same for cookies..
18. Pick up some meat and ask if they came from a male or female and ask if they were harmed.. When told yes, start a protest against hunting.
19. Steal somebody's cart while they're loading the groceries into their car.
20. Hope that toaster doesn't make up more stupid things. =)